Please, Call Me Azila.

You may or may not have assumed this, but Azila is not my real name.

The name given to me at birth was Kristen Haynie. I never have been fond of this name, for reasons that are too convoluted to get into here.

I get asked a lot about whether or not my name is really Azila, and why I use an alias instead of my birth-name. The name given to me at birth was Kristen Haynie. I never have been fond of this name, though, for reasons that are way too convoluted to get into here. It's much simpler just to tell you why I chose to use Azila instead. But to explain that to you, I'd have to start by explaining where Azila came from in the first place.

I began seriously studying witchcraft and pagan traditions in my very early twenties. While I had always been raised around esoteric concepts and encouraged to practice divination, it had always been presented from a standpoint that was heavily rooted in Christianity. I had a hard time making sense of that, so when I discovered the "old ways," everything just started coming together for me.

Shortly after I started my study and practice, I started having a recurring dream that totally baffled me...

I was in the backyard of my home at dusk on what seemed like a summer evening. I had a whole stack of little square parchment papers, on which I was writing letters. After writing them, I signed the whole stack one by one. My signature read:

Tihi Azila

Upon finishing the letters, I noticed a little red fox slip into my backyard through a hole in the fence. I began securing the stack with some twine as I watched the fox sniff around in my garden. He took a quick bit of something he found there, and then made his way over to me. His head was down and he seemed to be proceeding cautiously, as if he wasn't quite sure what to expect from me.

I offered the stack of letters to him. I remember being unsure if he would accept them, and hopeful that he would. He sniffed the letters and gave me a long stare. I smiled at him and instinctively kneeled down a bit. I was trying to encourage him and make him feel at ease. Finally, while keeping his eyes on my face, he very gingerly took the letters with his teeth.

As I let go of the letter, I felt so relieved. I'm not sure why I gave him the letters, but it felt so important to me that he accept them. I whispered my thanks as he scurried back through the hole under the fence.

This dream kept occurring for a while. Each time it was a little different, and each time the fox seemed to be much more comfortable in my presence. A few times my dog even appeared in the dream, sometimes growling at the fox when he came too close.

It never occured to me that it might be more than just a dream, though. At least not until I started seeing actual foxes pop up around me in real life. I started seeing them everywhere! One time, while taking my favorite scenic drive along highway 16, I saw one on the hill just beside the road. I stopped my car immediately (there was no one else on the road for miles). I looked at the fox, and it looked at me. It sat its butt down and stared at me for a while. It might sound crazy simple, but it was so significant for me. It was the first time in my life that I had ever come face to face with a fox like that.

I had that dream again that night, and it was at this point that I started to look more into what the hell was going on with that dream. I began researching who Tihi Azila was. I'm not quite sure where I got this from, but I found something suggesting that the phrase translates to "silent seeker." When you run the phrase through Google Translate, it comes up as "quiet asylum" in Croatian.

This still creeps me out! I have absolutely ZERO connection to the Croatian language. I had never heard that phrase before, and I have no reasonable explanation as to why I was using a Croatian phrase as my signature in my dreams.

In a weird way, it just stuck though. It felt like me! It felt as though it was a connection to who I was in the spirit realm, although I hadn't quite put together who that was yet. It also offered me a very convenient shield. A few years later, when I began working as a Tarot Reader, I was irrationally afraid of being judged by those who had known me my whole life. Again, a convoluted subject that I won't get into here.

The name Azila (meaning asylum) offered me the asylum I needed while I was working through some big issues. And now, almost ten years later, I'm a spiritual business owner and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me. I still can't let go of the name Azila, though. I feel like it's served its purpose for me, offering me the protection I needed while I was working through a tough time and learning to step into my own power. However, I really feel as though I have transitioned into an asylum for others. I am fiercely protective of those who are in need of it and in this way, the name has taken on a new role for me.

So I guess that pretty much explains it. You can call me Kristen or you can call me Azila, but I much prefer Azila. I prefer it to the point that I've actually considered legally changing my name!

Have questions? Leave me a comment below!

#witchcraft #oldways #pagan #witchnames #dreammagic #spiritanimal